The need to increase survival among caregivers age 65 and over who care for loved ones with dementia and Alzheimer's disease is urgent. Why? A significant number of die before they are finished: graffiti.
Signs of Caregiver Stress or Burnout
Abbreviated patience, extended anger.Inability to sleep.Caregiver DementiaDrinking or smoking more, or self medicating.To deny there is something wrong with loved ones.To deny the need for help.Hopelessness, ongoing depression.Eat poorly.The average amount of time that a caregiver care for loved ones with Alzheimer's is six and a half years. It is 2,373 days. It is difficult to hold onto hope that things get better when you are faced with an uncertain timeframe.
Remember that the stress tests from the late 1970s and early 1980s? I remember a condensed list of 25 stressful life events. We were commissioned to mark every event that happened to us in the last year. Among the 25 events was as follows.
Death of a beloved OneMarital DivorceFinancial difficultiesJob LossGeographical relocationFamily separation or conflictIllness in the familyBack when life was more stable (even in those double-digit inflation years), the assessment tool instructed us to control more than two entries meant we were suffering from high levels of stress and should seek help. Can you imagine? We can now easily check five or ten! The difference is painting a picture of to live with greater stress, today.
Examples of Caregiver Stress
Below are some examples of caregiver stress and burnout.
Lack of SLEEP
While my father lived in our California home, lay down we awake nights because he would get disoriented between night and day and walk. He would jiggle the door knob in our bedroom door, which we were advised to lock out most nights to catch on lost sleep.
Depressed by fears that low I awake most nights. There was so much to do that I feared that I can't remember everything. (I had a calendar and I wrote lots of to Dos, but when the spark of an idea strikes in the middle of the night, wanted to forget!)
LOST PATIENCE leads to ANGER
My father would go through the stubborn phases. With my husband David, help me, we had an outlet in each other. We could alleviate our anger, but when we grew so exhausted and could not, we did the things that turned out to be fun.
One afternoon, after my father threw a tantrum and demanded that David show him his room, I followed them down the Hall when the urge struck to strangle my father. My name is "David" so my deaf father was unable to hear. When my husband turned to look, he began to laugh seeing my fingers loosely around my father's neck. Confused by David's laughter, my father stopped to watch and then back to me. Feigning innocence, confused my debt-are trotted smile my father that looked back at David laughs. Then he started to smile. Surprised by his sudden SHIFT of emotions, I too began to laugh until we all laugh!
I recommend do not harm your loved one.I placed my hands loosely around my father's neck to see what David's reaction might be. The laughter that followed drained a stressful time, give us a constructive outlet redirect mounting frustrations. But what happens if I was the sole caregiver and needed support partners like David? It's easy to see how a caregiver may grow exhausted and lose patience and also grow angry.
EAT POORLY
Just as we care not most healthcare providers accept about themselves as they should.
David and I made sure to sit with my father and eat well prepared balanced meals because we were worried about their diet. Isn't that sad? We care more for others than ourselves.
When we placed my father, we went back to our old way of a meal a day. This was not an ideal arrangement to maintain our strength as caregivers. Despite the fact that they do not have 24-hour responsibility for my father's care, felt we still firmly tied to him.
CAREGIVER DEMENTIA
Just like people with Alzheimer's are suffering from amnesia, get vilset and also hallucinate, we did! The label, caregiver dementia, is used to describe Alzheimer 's-like symptoms that healthcare providers have experienced.
David began hallucinating. David wrote a letter to me while I was on the road. They were frightening as he detailed the night he felt settled down under the bed covers and humans with their things (a common complaint of people with dementia). I was not immune either. I supported in the garage door three times, destroying two power aerials and need a backend-repair and a new garage door.
Even if it is normal for caregivers to experiencestress and burnout, you do nothave to suffer.
We grew more and more exhausted every day and realized something must be done for my father and our security. David and I started showing signs of Alzheimer's is trying to keep with my father's care!
Fortunately, we have examined our options. After considering and home care (I worked in our small home needed quiet concentration and time), the Board of Directors and (not to insured and my wandering father can come out and do not return), assisted living (at least 50 miles away at the same time), and the need for care, we fixed the last--a secure facility which would look after my father 24/7.
Consider this: what will you be as a caregiver for your loved one on your stress and burnout are so serious, you won't be here long?
Brenda Avadian, MA is the author of "where are my shoes?" My father's walk through Alzheimer ( where are my shoes? ), which details her experience caring for her father with Alzheimer's and seven other books. She is an award-winning speaker who serves as a national spokesman for the family and professional caregivers. Brenda advocates: graffiti, continuum, support groups, geriatric assessment, educational sessions, home care, adult day care, elder law services, clinical studies, and residential areas, assisted living or nursing duties. After having been a caregiver, she now hope and strength to healthcare providers in the world through knowledge, humor and tears of joy. Sign up for the Caregiver voice monthly newsletter the Caregiver Voice newsletter